First relationship or relationship first?

Today is the birthday of a dear friend. He is turning forty and as every changing decades, we contemplate on how many years passing through still caring for each other.

We known ourselves since the month before he turns eighteen years old, this makes us friends from 22 years now. He is not the only “old friends” I have in my life, I feel blessed because some people I can call “friend” is in my life since I was 3 years old.

But this is different. He was my first boyfriend, my first relationship. We loved each other, we had hated each other and we shared 3 years of growing up. We had our fights and pain, but then something switched and we just become friends.
We still care much for each other and there is a big affection, we share happiness or pain of the other one and we know that we will find support of a true friend in each other. This thought is sweet. Because of what it was and because of what it means today. We wasn’t meant to be together as a couple, but even if not as “main character”, we just remain with a considerable role in each other lives.

This occasion was a kick to think about the relationship I’ve had in my life and relationship in general. Not all of my experiences have this positive twist. But lately I’ve made up my mind that “relationship” is one of the key topic in “what life is all about“.

Sometimes I surprise myself thinking about the meaning of life (I’m not thinking everyday about this!)… I usually begin the easy way: excluding all the “material” things.

Going on, what does left over is strongly related to people.
Starting from ourselves.
What we leave behind with the moments we share, including ourselves.
How I interact with myself, how I manage my relationships, how I interact with others, how much time I dedicate to know myself and how my presence here and now impact the environment I live in. People and nature.

My interactions will be my legacy

So relationship first!
And first of all with ourselves.
As human beings we can’t slip out being related to others and mostly to ourselves.
Relationship is one of the foundation of human existence.
I invest my energy and time to build relationships, starting with me. It is a never-ending “job” and its beauty resides in it.
It is not easy and there are no shortcuts, but its time is worthy to spend.

Life is a journey.

I imagine it to be like a journey on a train.
It starts with few people and then the wagon starts to fill up, carry on with the journey you start to getting to know better people around you, than you look at the window and the view helps to take a look inside you…  you start to notice that sometimes when the train stops in a new station, someone gets off, someone misses the train, someone gets in and someone will go along with you for a bit or even for almost all the way.
But what will survive is how we shared those moments together, on that train.
For whom who stays when we will get off and for those who get off when we stays.




5 thoughts on “First relationship or relationship first?

  1. never_stop_exploring says:

    It’s awesome… But I have bit different view. I used to believe in things like this. Maybe it’s just my bias about relationships. There is nothing we can leave behind. Relationship with people will vanish once those people vanish.
    For me it’s journey all that matters. It doesn’t matter where you are headed to or who is with you. It’s that train journey. In that journey pursuit of happiness and knowledge!


    • gingerlyfoolish says:

      I understand your point of view and I have to say that I partially agree.
      I too think the journey is really important, even more than the destination but is my personal opinion that even more important is how you deal with all the aspects of the journey…
      In some of my experiences: some relationship I’ve had in my life nowadays seems to haven’t leave anything behind, until proven otherwise. In my opinion is just a matter of time, someday it could appear something that a person left behind and maybe I didn’t even noticed it was there.
      But most of my experiences, not everyone of them in a “positive” way have left me something. Even insignificant. But most of the people I’ve encountered has left me with something new. Something that wasn’t there. And after their stop there it was.
      I don’t believe in simple vanishing. That is only my opinion, an idea, but I don’t believe in “just fade away”. But I respect your point of view and I’m glad you choosed to share it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. never_stop_exploring says:

    “Important is how you deal with all the aspects of the journey”
    This is exactly what I mean. Its how we enjoy that journey.
    And in that journey you can’t hold on to people or they will get down where they are meant to be. It will hard journey but in the end everything will be worth it. At least I still believe everything will be worth(though I’ve stopped expecting)
    Thanks for your warm words too. Was bit in bad phase. Anyway you cheered me up. Best regards. Keep writing. Have great time.

    Liked by 1 person

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